You found a nice date for the night and had a great time together. Now that’s fantastic, is it not? The only downfall, it would seem, is the matter of sex on the first date, which wreaks havoc with the otherwise fun chats about sexy times. The deal with having sex after a first encounter is that there is an incredibly amount of energy some people put into deciphering the possible consequences of ending a date under the sheets. If Jane and John got hot and steamy, will John call her the next day? Will John think that Jane’s a slut? Is Jane a slut? To borrow a famous reaction from George Takei, “oh myyy!” Without wanting to hop on the outrage train, here’s our two cents.
Sex on the first date works great as long as both partners are up for it and it’s downright amazing if they both enjoy it. Whether John and Jane will remain a couple, that’s for John and Jane to figure out, and we think putting out on the first date has very little, if anything, to do with it. An overwhelmingly large amount of commentaries on the Internet are stating that there are more chances of finding a longer-term partner if, as a girl, you withhold sex for several dates. Otherwise, according to this line of thought, putting out after a first date will make the guy disrespect you.
Contrary to this opinion, we think that it’s more likely that people who are attracted to each other and have more in common will schedule further dates, sex or no sex. And so, the very fact that two consenting adults are engaging in fun times after the first date, isn’t exactly a decisive factor when one considers entering a relationship. After all, not everyone is looking for a soul mate with every date they set, and there are plenty of dating styles to fit every single person, whether they are seeking a long term partner or just looking to hook up.
At the end of the day, what sex on the first date should be regarded as is nothing more than a way to have fun. As long as both partners are up for it and safe, why pass on the whole fun of it because of all those moralistic judgments that so rarely hold true? Luckily, with the wonderfully infamous millennials, the notion of judgement-free fun is beginning to gain pull. That is to say, we are keeping our fingers crossed for getting rid of outdated ideas about how to love each other.